Stop Sucking on The Drinking Fountain

Well I finally joined the gym here. My father’s ruthlessly instilled cheapness, I mean thriftiness, kept me away for these past 5 months, dismissing the cost as unnecessary. However, with the air as it is here, I just don’t have it in me to run outside, and it was time to stop finding excuses to be lazy. I found a nice, new gym in the center of town that looks pretty nice. Its actually the top floor of a big mall, which seems a little strange at first, but it makes me feel good that I am not there wasting my money. A few observations, which I feel need to be mentioned.

1) There are signs above the water fountains telling people to keep distance (read: not suck on) from the water fountain nozzle.  Gross. That’s all.

2) There are multiple signs above a stretch of comfy-looking benches telling people “no sleeping.” I mean, I knew I was lazy, but if you come to they gym and end up taking a nap, that is really stepping it up to a new level. And I applaud you for that.

3) On my tour, the guide helpfully pointd out that there is free internet to use during the gym. I usually don’t feel the urge to check my email while pumping iron, but it seemed like a nice feature. Today however, I find that one guy is using it as (inspiration?), to look at muscley-men pictures. Whatever motivates you I guess. It just seems like more of an at-home kind of activity.

4) To the man wearing black pants, and a very nice argyle sweater: those clothes are nicer than what I wear for a night out. Buy a t-shirt.

I guess that’s pretty much it. It’s a nice place, I just think that some things that Westerners take for granted as something we grew up with, like gyms, (and driving cars), will take some time for them to master.

Godspeed!

China is Broken

As if the GHB in the children’s toys, and antifreeze in the toothpaste weren’t enough to make you wonder what the ef is going on in China right now, add this to the list: The parcel machine at the post office by my house is broken, and the power is off at the bank- my only two errands for the afternoon, denied. Right, right, it may seem trivial to you, but none of the other scandals really affected my life personally. It’s all starting to add up though, and some things have been getting under my skin lately.

It’s probably just because I’m sick, it’s the holidays, and there are no heaters anywhere, so I waddle around with so many layers on that going to the bathroom just doesn’t seem worth the effort anymore, but I’m going to rant for a bit. It’s no longer the big things that are annoying. So what if the pollution renders buildings 100 meters ahead practically invisible, my Chinese is evolving about as slow Bush’s foreign policy, and I’m no longer sure if my hack is due to a virus, or airborne particles? These are the little things that four months into this trek, make me wonder if there is civilization in China.

1) Old man clipping your nails on the bus: Is your schedule so jam packed that you must do personal hygiene on the bus? My guess is no, so lets move this activity back into the bathroom where it belongs. If just one little yellow nail finds its way to my side of the aisle, I will, I will, well, probably just move back further. But seriously, stop.

2) To every shop attendant handing me change: It is so much to ask, that you place the change in my outstretched hand, as opposed to thrown down back onto the counter? Even when you see my hand there, patiently waiting. Am I diseased? Am I missing something? I shower pretty regularly, my guess is more than you, so lets just save everyone the extra effort. Thanks.

3) Pizza Hut China, LTD: It’s getting absurd with the costumes you make the waiters wear. They don’t even get tipped, yet you insist they are constantly decked out in whatever the upcoming season, or whatever the American Pop Culture event du jour is. A pirate brought me my Pizza in September for the release of Pirates of the Caribbean. In October, a witch. Then a pilgrim, and now Santa. I don’t even think they have regular uniforms come to think of it.

4) Mcdonalds: Any doubters out there that China will one day soon take over America as the most obese nation in the world? What if I told you that they will deliver there greasy treats to your door for free? I’m not sure if its a sign that McDonalds is upscale and a luxury good in China, or that delivery men’s salaries are still so low that this even makes economic sense, but I guess probably a combination of the two.

5) And to every store owner putting up X-mas decorations: I challenge you to tell me one thing about Christmas – other than the fact that if you put a little effort into the decorations, the foreigners seem to spend more money. I’m pretty sure it’s only depressing me more to see the decorations everywhere, knowing that its not a holiday here, no one actually knows what the day is about, and the day will pass with me teaching class as usual. I guess I now know how the Irish feel, seeing the American’s drink themselves senseless on St. Patrick’s Day, and not upholding the local traditions. Or wait, that is the tradition, isn’t it?

Anyways, to end on a slightly more positive note, when I went to the hospital last week to see a doctor about my cough/cold, it cost me $2.08. I’m not entirely sure I saw a real doctor, and she spent more time writing the actual prescription than examining me, but I still feel like it was a steal.